Posts Tagged ‘Journey’

It’s the last day of the month once again and here I am writing another entry since I try to make it a point to write at least one entry for month just for updates about the going on with my life. I used to blog more before but when you get caught up in the mundaness of your life then sometimes it become a bit tiresome. But I love this blog and I love how people can empathize with what I feel with regards to my journey in love.

Yeah it’s still a never ending journey of discovery unravelling each day as it folds and manifest it’s real situation right before your eyes. I have been in confusion for many months now or lets just say more than a year with a particular friend. It’s been one constant struggle to finally accept and be contented with the things he can give and not expect for more. Because of that insecurities I’ve meet men who not only does not fill the void I’ve been searching for but also taught me a lesson never ever to look for a substitute when in fact they will never ever compare to the one who holds your heart but last January I meet a new friend. Well not really personally I’ve been chatting with him for more than 6 months but it was not until the beginning of this year that we’ve really talk and become close.

I sort of welcome it at first because it was the diversion I’m looking for so as not to think of the other guy. He do fills up the empty spaces in between my somewhat boring and monotonous routine everyday in the office. We talk for hours that I’ve even memorize his daily routine from the time he got off work to the time he’ll go to work. I didn’t expect to be connected and in touch with him because as I’ve said it’s a nice diversion. But what I didn’t count on was that I would really like him and be attached to him. I must admit he is such a sweet guy and fond of giving compliments which as a lady you really like to hear. I mean I’ve swear not to believe those sweet talking, smooth moves men who just like the chase and conquest but not really looking for the real thing.

But maybe because I was lonely at that time and seeking someone to fill the void thus I didn’t realize that each day I’ve become attached to you and I started dreaming dreams creating illusions in my hyper active brain because I thought you care too until I find out you have a girlfriend. You did not deny it or make excuses you admit it wholeheartedly to me but what shock me the most is you asking me to be the other woman in your life. Oh geez it’s quite tempting cause I know I’m attracted to you physically and I really find you a sweet guy but I’ve really no intention to be the other woman albeit his not your wife yet.

I know there could be a chance if I wish too but I don’t wish too because I prefer to love someone who can be committed to me. I mean it’s hard as it is loving a single person how much more two persons. I may either be too idealistic but that’s just what I am I’m a believer of this thing called Love. And in case you really truly love that person you put your whole heart and soul in loving that person and not hurting each other right. And what do you call it when you confess to be in a relationship with someone and still look for a diversion.

I do admit I’m taken with you and I’m quite disappointed that our promise to spend time with each other this May will just probably be a dream that can’t be realize because help me I won’t settle for the other side of the puzzle either I will complete the missing pieces of your heart and not share you with other ladies. But who am I to take you away from the person you profess you’re committed with because I do feel sad for the girl and for myself. Well whatever the future brings I just hope May is a month full of love maybe not you but with other people.

Advertisements

It’s close to midnight and I see you online. Should I say hi, hello, How’ve you been? It’s been awhile and I miss your company? Or should I just ignore you the same way that you’ve gone away for awhile. Ahhh this is always the case on and off then I see you again and we’re back at the beginning. What I need now is to be strong in facing my future alone without you. To make my own plans, to focus more on my own dreams and  hopefully to forget you totally. It’s really up to you if you intend to keep your promise. But, as for me I’m going to fly away and chase my dreams, and if someday God permits I might just go back the same path, the same road again and perhaps see you there waiting for me. But, that’s too long to think, too far to imagine  so I’ll just live my life fully yet still hoping for love to come and stay.

PS: By the way this month my blogs turn a year old and thank you for all the people who have been reading and blogrolling me here. I can’t believe I’ve been blogging that long about my journey of love, still continuing on the road until I find the person I’ll travel the world together.