Posts Tagged ‘Crossroad’

It’s lunch time and I’m sitting here at a car shop in a place I’ve been longing to visit for a chance to get a taste of where he lives. But of course our story is long over, its been a year since we last see each other and I have no plans of calling him so we could meet up again. I think the past is better left where it belongs. I have said goodbye to him so many times here in my blog and our story is one rollercoaster ride sometimes it feel so good and at times I feel so sad knowing him so close but feeling him so far. Just like today when I’m here sitting, contemplating, knowing he’s just a phone call away (since the shop is located near where he lives) but call me whatever you want as I’m not gonna dial his number so I can see him today. I’ll just live it all to fate if by chance we ever see each other one day it will not be through my own initiative. He have gone in and out of my life since the first time we met I can live without him in my life now… I won’t denied the fact that I do care deeply and there was a point in my life when all I could think about, dream about, hope for and wish for is him. But I’m past that point and I’ve learn to accept things and be fine with it. I’ve made my peace with everything that happen and now coming here, having a chance to see his hometown is like coming full circle and perhaps this time around I can finally let go, move on and possibly meet the one who is really meant for me and no I’m not dreaming just hopeful that finally this person is just around the corner and I’ll soon meet him….

It’s close to midnight and I see you online. Should I say hi, hello, How’ve you been? It’s been awhile and I miss your company? Or should I just ignore you the same way that you’ve gone away for awhile. Ahhh this is always the case on and off then I see you again and we’re back at the beginning. What I need now is to be strong in facing my future alone without you. To make my own plans, to focus more on my own dreams and  hopefully to forget you totally. It’s really up to you if you intend to keep your promise. But, as for me I’m going to fly away and chase my dreams, and if someday God permits I might just go back the same path, the same road again and perhaps see you there waiting for me. But, that’s too long to think, too far to imagine  so I’ll just live my life fully yet still hoping for love to come and stay.

PS: By the way this month my blogs turn a year old and thank you for all the people who have been reading and blogrolling me here. I can’t believe I’ve been blogging that long about my journey of love, still continuing on the road until I find the person I’ll travel the world together.

I don’t know if I can trust you again I was hurt when you left me so suddenly. Many questions filled my mind only you could have the answer but then again where would I find you when you are so far from my reach. The funny thing about life is that just when I least expected it you came back. I don’t know if I would be happy that you’re back and embrace you with open arms or be hesitant that you might again hurt me this time around. I’ve been in this path before not with you but with the other guy. I was happy when he came back but it turn out it was a short lived happiness and now I’m confused what to do with you. Should I give you a chance and let you in my heart again or should I just shut the door and never let you in. It is so confusing but I’m happy to hear from you again. I hope I will find the courage to trust you and welcome you back into my arms.

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Sometimes in life we walk a different path, go our own separate ways and find our own lives. It will not be forever that people will do the same thing over and over again cause by then things will tend to stagnate. But the funny thing about life is when people do drift apart or part ways they don’t always find the way to go back to what it is used to be maybe because time has pass and your not anymore comfortable with what is left behind. But sometimes in life too when you do go back and reminisce what you did left behind you realize it was worth going back in the first place cause it was the one thing that made you who your are, who were there when you felt the world has turn its back on you, who push you up everytime you stumble and fall. Yes it is good to grow up and find our niche in this world cause sooner or later we will need to find that path where our life should circumnavigate but then again memories too are worth savoring every part of your journey to self discovery and contentment for without it we are an empty shell going about our life with no substance at all. Our past do help shape what we will become someday so never do erase what is left behind in your life but mold it well to suit what you will become someday.