Archive for the ‘Risk’ Category

There are moments in life that surprise you that you can’t even imagine it’s possible. 3 and 1/2 years ago I met someone who turn my life upside down. It was one crazy ride but a very memorable one but a very brief encounter. It was just one of those times when you feel you can do almost anything because you feel so free. I won’t delude myself or romantized it and call it love cause it is not. Maybe it’s more of a physical attraction or chemistry where you meet a stranger and it seems you’ve known each other for a long time. It happen so fast that it seems surreal and sometimes I have to pinch myself just to remind me that you’re real and the situation is real and not just some conjure images from my vivid imagination. But what we have that day was so unforgetable and memorable to me no matter how short lived it was. You give me something nobody from my past has given me but then out of the blue it ended as fast as it comes. I’ve no regret about it coz’ I know it’s inevitable. But what I didn’t count on is that I’ll talk again with you after all these years. So many things have changed and I don’t know if you even remember me or am I just a passing fancy to you. But I enjoy that talk, me pretending to not know you and I don’t know on your part if you’re pretending too. It was fun and it made me realize the reason why things happen as it is. What I don’t get is why after all these years our path cross again. I’ve made peace with what happen nor do I have regret whatsoever. I’m just amused and wondering if perhaps there’s a reason behind why things happen or maybe I’ll just let bygones be bygones. But I enjoy talking to you so much I just don’t know if I could meet you again after all this time so I gotta say for now ciao mi sweet amore 🙂

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A new year has finally enter and it seems my life’s drama still going on and on. Well it’s not actually a drama but this feeling I have for you seems an endless cycle I can’t quite escape. But sometimes its too hard to make a really good choice as if I feel myself watching the hit series for “love or money” where you are to choose which you prefer the love or the money. It’s what a close friend once says to me that a beauty queen during a question and answer portion was asked if you were given a choice which would you choose crown or love  and she says the crown.

So my friend ask me what would you choose and I tell her at this moment in my life I would choose the crown because if you were to ask me a couple of months back or year ago I would definitely say love. That is just me I’m a romantic person always believing that love is far greater than any money or riches can be found in life. However if one get burn too many times one prefers to choose the crown or the money than continue on playing with fire all for the glory of love.

But in your case its really so hard to decide because I’ve waited too long for you, I’ve hold on to you when the pain I’ve felt was too strong, I’ve forgive you too many times when I thought you’ve left me hanging in there. Now that I’m at a point where my dreams are too precious to me it seems you’re calling me home to take a chance with you, to take a risk and to choose love once again. 

It’s really a confusing time for me when I’ve invested too much already to pursue a dream of being independent yet the allure of your arms waiting for me seems to keep me alive of a promise perhaps of a new love. Could I possibly be happy with just a crown or could I possibly have the best of both world by knowing how to do to the right balance. Well who knows God really is the only one who can answer my prayer but honestly speaking at this moment in time I’m really confuse which path to take.