Archive for the ‘Dreamers’ Category

I have this blog for quite sometime now in the hope that this will chronicle my journey towards finding the perfect love for me, the happy ever after and the one I just can’t live without. But is there such a thing as perfect love? Are we capable of giving love unconditionally or perhaps only our mind can perceive what our heart cannot give. It’s simple really we are humans bound by the norms and morale of society easily hurt and discourage thus influence how we receive and give love. It’s not intentional to limit one’s love because perhaps that’s the only amount he can give because giving too much is unbearable for him for fear of hurting, for fear of rejection among other things. Then there are those who give too much thinking that if they shower you with enough love perhaps they might get it in return and so much more but sometimes no matter how hard you give love, how selfless you are in giving yourself some people just don’t reciprocate the way you feel. I guess that’s love sometimes grand, sometimes euphoric but a bit complicated. It could have been simple and perfect but we love to live the rollercoaster ride of emotion when we love someone maybe that’s the spice of it or maybe we just like the idea or the drama of a less smooth ride of our journey through love.

As for myself it’s been so long I’ve try to find that person whom I can give all of me without pretention, without fear, without misgiving and just really be true to who I am. But I’ve failed many times, expect too much, fly so high only to find my wings broken, my heart bruised, my illusion shattered and back again to my reality that there is no such thing as a perfect love. That one can only find real meaning in love if one learns to accept the others shortcoming and failure. To value him for all that he is and accept that although he might not measure up to your expectation but love can bridge one’s imperfection

12-20-10 start at 11:23pm

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I can’t believe how time flies, it seems that over a year has passed since we meet. And oh what an eventful year  it was I’ve realize so many things, my feelings have its ups and down. I have my fair share of tears, pains and confusion with regards to what I feel for you. I won’t deny that I do feel something for you maybe this is what love is all about. Caring too much for the person, for his welfare and even accepting all of his shortcomings. But the sad part is I never did know what I am in your life. Am I just more than a friend? Am I a puzzle to solve? Am I a challenge or conquest? I guess I’m one insecure person when I’m with you. Because I don’t know where my place is and I’m expecting too much for something that you can’t quite give. But after awhile I learn to accept our situation, although I must admit the feelings I have is still here in my heart, but in order for one to grow one must learn to move on and pick up the pieces of one’s life. I’m not actually saying goodbye because I always like having you around even if not like the way I want it to be, but being friends is much better than life without you in it. I’m not also closing my doors that there could never be an US but I’m more realistic in facing life that possibly US might just mean friends and not forevermore. And who knows there is something more enstore for you and me. Whatever life brings I’ll always be grateful to God for giving me a chance to meet someone like you. Thank you for everything and for touching a part of my life.

After awhile I tend to give up on things thinking that life seems to be dragging by and everything is just running around in circles. It seems pointless to me to go on wishing that somehow life brings me what I am looking for. Although I know deep within what it is but I’m always in denial of many things. So I go on pretending that I will be OK without you that life can still be beautiful just me in it. I always resisted the urge to communicate whenever the missing bug hit me. It’s just my silly pride talking again but then I realize after days and weeks that I was still not happy. It seems I am longing for something I can’t quite comprehend. My days are busy and filled with activities but when I go home at night the loneliness set in. Then, it hit me that no matter how I try to deny it, thoughts of you keep sipping in. I just can’t help it you’ve grown into me much deeper than I would have like. You creep inside this heart of mine trying to revive its dying beat. You put warmth to a once cold soul and bring a glow to my pale colorless world. But then life is not simple, life is like love full of complexities that try to unravel as you go along your journey. Sometimes sweet, sometimes bitter but enough balance to keep it beautifully blended. Just like us sometimes we have our moments and at times we want to just leave it all behind and move forward. I don’t know what’s enstore for us because we’ve been in this boat for quite awhile now but all I know is that being with you just makes me happy and I’m not denying anything now.

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I wish I can love you as much as you love me but I’m so sorry if I can only love you half heartedly. Silly me to think one can love only in half not in whole. Who am I kidding around but only myself and maybe hurt you in the long run. But I like having you around, I like the way you cared for me and I don’t know why I hold back in giving you all my love. Maybe I’m scared that I will be into deep with you and fear the thought of losing you. At least if I love you just a little bit not too much then if you go the hurt would be less painful and my heart will not be as broken as before. Or maybe the reason I can’t give you all of me because my heart still beats for someone else. It is really not intentional I do wish to love you truly but I can’t maybe in time and you can still wait for me.

PS: This post is somewhat related to my blog Sometimes but that blog talks about the other guy. I wrote that blog first then Wishes.

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Here lies my thoughts, feelings, ideas, life, love and dreams in a nutshell.  This is my very first blog entry, the first time I discover this blogsite and hopefully you get to see many more of my works and ideas.  Everyday is a journey into the greatest mystery of the universe of unravelling slowly the things that we find most enjoyable in our lives and facing the things we don’t like much with courage and hope and faith that everytime we fall there is an up to look forward too.  My life not always the typically peachy sunny side up kind of thing but it has spices, salt and sugar as well to make it more tasty.  Yeah I’m bit far off from this world I guess cause its because I’m bit at my artsy mood and besides I love to eat.  What was it forest gump use to say “Life is like a box of chocolates you’ll never know what will come out”…anyway enjoy reading my blog and if you like it well you can always link me to your blogs or vice versa