Goodbye and new beginnings

Posted: August 31, 2010 in Care, Choices, Complicated, Crossroads, Decisions, Goodbye, I love you, Letting Go, Love, Moments
Tags: , , , ,

Sometimes in life all you can do is surrender it all to the one force that is greater than you because if you go on doing what you’re doing you’ll only end up exhausting your energy, your effort and yourself. Not so long ago I like two people and indeed they have become a part of my life. They lift me up when I’m feeling blue, they inspire when I feel uninspired, they let me hope that possibly there could be a you and a me. You might wonder why do I like two people and not one isn’t love just the two of us and not the three of us. But strange as it may seem I confuse myself too coz I like them both. Of course I must admit that the other one I feel more deeply since we’ve already shared so many memories together. And our journey and meeting is full of ups and down that even myself can’t quite believe that we’ve come this far. The other one I meet because I want to forget the other one thinking that if I meet someone new and possibly connect then I’ll forget the first. But who am I kidding instead I’ve confused my feelings for both of them and the last guy I sort of connected because he was so expressive and so sweet with what he feels unlike the first guy. However, my feelings for guy 1 runs so deep because at my loneliest hour and saddest moment he was always there to cheer me up. Yet he confuses me because I can’t seem to understand what I am to him so that’s why guy 2 comes into the picture. But as they say the more you play with love the less likely you get something in return and that’s what happen to me. I mean I’ve not intentionally play with love I’m just a lonely person looking for the one who’ll be willing to stay with me forever yet by some strange twist of fate they’re both gone from my life. The first guy finally went home to his hometown for good which if I take the cue makes our situation more difficult and less likely our story to have an ending. The other one actually found another love and it was not me I can’t blame him because we meet at the wrong time when he was already committed to someone and then when things didn’t workout with them I was angry with him so I guess we just drift apart. Then I realize maybe it’s God way of telling me to let them go and really, really move on with my life because little by little in His own little way he takes them away from me. It’s not so painful as I’ve thought it would be maybe because I’ve been trying to distance and untangled myself from them for awhile. Of course I wouldn’t deny that a part of my ego was hurt especially guy 2 for choosing another girl besides me. Oh well maybe we are just not meant to be and with regards to guy 1 our story definitely has no ending still yet I guess it’s better if we won’t keep on holding but move on to where we are meant to be because it’s been so long we’ve been dancing the same rhythm, singing the same song, going around in circles which is so mind boggling creates confusing feelings. I guess it’s time to say goodbye to my past and say hello to my future. Although uncertain but I know somewhere, somehow the one who is intended for me will come my way and stay with me for keeps.

PS: By the way this month is the 3 year anniversary of my blog in where I decide to chronicle my journey into love. It’s been quite an adventure meet some interesting people, fall in love, break my heart yet still believing somewhere there’s always someone waiting for me it’s just a matter of time.

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Comments
  1. mac says:

    As I read your letter, I can relate that it’s hard sometimes to know your deepest feeling especially if you love both. It’s more confusing to choose between two lovers who is meant for u and the qualities you are looking for in a guy is the one both of them have in a different way. But, as time goes by you will realize and you keep questioning till u know that….ohh….it’s gone and I did not choose either of them. And it’s funny if we feel this way. We end up nothing and end up not choosing either.

    But, you know that someday, somewhere around your world… theirs someone the one who makes your life worthwhile and be your destined lover… I miss you friend! I am proud of you always with your blog.

  2. marianne says:

    happy anniversary

  3. adeic says:

    thank you ladies for always being there and good friend to me

  4. danielbrown2010 says:

    I enjoyed reading your blog and your feelings about love
    I myself believe if love is there from the start it’s there every moment of your life
    May i wish you a beautiful day
    Daniel angel from Cape Cornwall

  5. adeic says:

    Thank you Daniel for liking my blog and for the nice comment….you have a beautiful day too…

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