Archive for April, 2009

first-love

It is hard to love someone in silent. It is hard to keep that love to yourself knowing that it wants to be set free, to be let go and to be share. But I have no choice but to keep this feeling to myself. You warned me not to love you because I might only hurt myself in the process. I guess you know deep inside that you cannot give away what you don’t feel in your heart. I don’t know which is painful keeping this love to myself or not getting the love I want from you. Either way it still hurt a bit knowing you love someone who treats you only as a friend. 

I thought what I feel for you was just gratitude for the time when loneliness seems to envelop me and you were there to lift my spirit up. But everytime I see you I know it’s more than gratitude and I know that you have a soft spot here in my heart. I know I feel a certain affection towards you but geeezzz it’s so hard to keep this feeling to myself. It’s so hard loving you in silence. It’s so hard to be just your friend.

But come to think of it I’ll rather love you like a mute and be your friend than tell you I love you and you’ll go away from me.

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