Archive for July, 2008

How do you start living again a new life?

How do you find the courage to go on & find a new horizon?

How do you say goodbye to someone who’ve touch something deep inside of you?

How do you let go of a dear friend & companion in those loneliest moments in your life?

How do you stay strong despite the weakness you’ve constantly felt?

How do you even find time to smile although your hearts crying in vain?

How do you go on when something wants to stay put in the past?

Too many questions I don’t have any answers or clue. I’ve been contemplating most of the times of these feelings & keep on wondering what is it with you that made me feel so deep.

I guess somehow without me knowing it you’ve creep & stick yourself firmly inside my heart. The heart that don’t want to love just to feel pain later on. But I guess you did exactly that, you tear the wall I’ve built so hard & just leave it shattered & broken.

I wish I am just dreaming, I wish you are not gone but when I open my eyes each day I know its real. I know you are gone and I don’t know if you’ll ever come back. So I guess I will live my life again back to the time I haven’t met you.

Is this the end of the line for us? Is it time for me to let go? I’ve waited long enough for you to finally realize my presence in your life but too bad you’re just coming in and out of it. Do you have any plans at all or are you just waiting for the most convenient time. Time for what? To say goodbye to me or to say hello I’ve missed you. Either way I’m tired, tired of waiting for something that could just be an empty illusion. Maybe I’ve just built my castle too big in the air only to find sands amidst my feet. I want to be happy and if letting you go is the answer then so be it. I know its hard but time can heal and I’ll find someone who’ll make me happy. We may or may not meet again in this lifetime but I hope life would be kind to you. And thanks for the memories and the time when you made me feel so fine.

I guess I love you but why should I guess and not know. Isn’t loving not a guessing game but rather feeling it and knowing things is in the right perspective. Right now I’m so confuse what I feel for you. I do miss you I really admit that. Sometimes I feel that I already love you but at times the feeling subsides. If one loves a person isn’t it consistent, isn’t it grand with no longings, no hurt feeling but just pure bliss. The things you’ve made me feel is a mixed signal, at times I feel like soaring and flying high but most of the time I feel like an angel with only one wing. Ready to fall down from the heaven I have been living, from the dreams I have been making and the wishes I have been longing. Sometimes when I’m all alone I keep thinking of the time when we can be together again and make all our dreams a reality. To quench all the longing inside of me, the loneliness without you here with me and just the emptiness of life far from you. But my greatest wish is that somehow life would be kind and we can have all of it and so much more.