Archive for February, 2008

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Our life is compose of a series of moments, not the bigger picture, not the drama, not the search for total bliss nor the happily ever after. Oftentimes we want to stay in a certain situation forever that we wish it to never end but as there is beginning so there must be an ending. Why can’t we stay in a particular situation forever, why must it have to move on and change because for me the beauty of life is not the bigger picture or happily after. The beauty lies in the moments. Sometimes we forget to savour the moment we rush so fast to things that needs to be done, to goals that needs to be achieve, to problems need to be fix and so on and so forth but we forget to just sit and relax and see and enjoy that moment for once its gone you can never really go back to it.

There are moments that I savor so much that I keep them close to my heart and I thank all those people who share those moments with me for without them it wouldn’t be as memorable. I have my moments of joy, moments of tears, moments of triump, moments of englighten, moments of great friendship, moments of love, moments of letting go, moments of surprise, moments of lost, moments of betrayal, moments of being special that I thank God everyday of my life for the moments that made my day beautifully bless. It might not be much to some, I might not be as successful nor as achiever as other people but I’m grateful for the friends I’ve met along the way who share special moments with me and for the men who share a bit of their lives I also thank you for that moment when you’ve also been a part of my life.

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Oh after months of wondering will I ever see you for real? After days of thinking and wishing that somehow I know what you feel for me. I was sad once when I found out you were dating someone else. I thought there was something going on for us only to find out otherwise but I didn’t cry over that cause I have meet someone at that time who is making me smile too. So the affection I felt for you somehow transfer to another guy who makes my days happy and just add a little bit color of my somewhat drab life. Then I start to question myself if somehow I did felt something for you and as the days went by our communication became less and less. I was not worried because I have found someone to keep me preoccupied thinking that maybe it was one of those things that comes and goes. I was thankful for the memories. I was thankful to have meet you even if we have not yet gotten the chance to met for real. Although you’re not really my type of guy but something in you makes me really like you and wish we could have something more before. So I let it go not having contacts with you cause perhaps it was not meant to be after all. The other guy was gone too leaving me in a bit of confusion but now a bit of trying to live for myself without you both in my life. But then again why would I call you both mine when literally speaking you are not really mine in the first place. It was just borrowed time we have to fill all the emptiness/loneliness of our lives. But then to suddenly receive a call that you are near my place and you want to see me. Oh it was so unexpected I haven’t really expected to hear from you again and now this call. The offer was too good to resist so we did see each other after so long contemplating. You were not all that I imagine you to be you are quite different than what I expected but in a good way. Meeting you is bittersweet. Bitter because you come at a time when I was confuse who really matter most in my heart and sweet because after a long time coming we really did get to met. I don’t know what this means either we could be friends for real or continue the one we thought we had before. Either way I am happy and at peace now with my life and meeting you was just an icing on the cake but honestly I’m really glad I’ve finally meet you at least it won’t leave me wondering. I don’t know what you think of me but I hope its a good impression. Till now I won’t expect much from you and I will just live life one day at a time and keeping my heart open for a new love to come my way.

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Carry me into your arms
and never let me go
When the world has turn
its back on me
When there seems to be no hope
Don’t ever let me go
for your arms strengthens me
in times I felt weak
and seems I can’t go on
but you were always there
never leaving me
Your arms shelters me
from the coldness and hate
giving me courage and peace
I could never ask for more
than those arms of yours
A love so true and real
that arms that stretch
on the cross so I can be save
from a lifetime of sin and deceit
Each day that pass
I’m grateful for your arms
that gave me a second chance
to live my life again
into your loving arms

written by moi 12-2-07 9:30pm

PS: I’ve been thinking, meditating, contemplating, wishing, hoping I can write something like this. It’s been a long time coming but finally a poem for my one savior Jesus Christ who loves me more than anyone could ever love me. This a new poem and a first for me to dedicate this one to God. Though this blog is about my journey into love but I realize I want to put this poem here cause without God’s guidance I wouldn’t really find the one I am looking for. Hope you like this one and put some comments. Thanks