Archive for August, 2007

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I wish I can love you as much as you love me but I’m so sorry if I can only love you half heartedly. Silly me to think one can love only in half not in whole. Who am I kidding around but only myself and maybe hurt you in the long run. But I like having you around, I like the way you cared for me and I don’t know why I hold back in giving you all my love. Maybe I’m scared that I will be into deep with you and fear the thought of losing you. At least if I love you just a little bit not too much then if you go the hurt would be less painful and my heart will not be as broken as before. Or maybe the reason I can’t give you all of me because my heart still beats for someone else. It is really not intentional I do wish to love you truly but I can’t maybe in time and you can still wait for me.

PS: This post is somewhat related to my blog Sometimes but that blog talks about the other guy. I wrote that blog first then Wishes.

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Sometimes I still think of you but not as often as before. Though I love to let you go completely but there is still a part of me that wants to hang on to remember you and keep you forever close to my heart. I’ve let you go before and like the saying go “If you love someone let them go and if it come backs it is yours and if not it was not yours in the first place.” and then you come back so does it means you are mine or is it just a temporary lapse of time where you will go again and fly away from me but oops this time around I’m the one who will let go of you. I cannot stand this waiting game for you to finally realize what you really want in your life. Is it me you want or perhaps some other person much better than me. I have given all I can give but maybe it was not enough or maybe it is just the end of the line for us. Yes there is always a question in my mind without answer but then I don’t want to contemplate of that answer only to find out there is nothing to it. I have met someone new but my heart don’t beat as fast as it beats for you nor though I long for him as much as I long for you but then again I choose this path and I wish to move on so maybe someday I can give him all of me that I’ve given to you but till that time comes I know I will still be thinking of you once in awhile but that is where you belong from now on — only in my memories not in my heart cause that door is reserved for the person who will love me more than I love myself )

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Somewhere along the way you meet people who let you see how much of life you missed out and let you see a different perspective than your own preconceived notion then you realize that life is just not as simple as ABC. Life is for you to live it fully and not just dream about it when you go to sleep or let your imagination do the job. For one to enjoy life you must grasp it wholeheartedly, cherish the moment, live only for today, love fully, hurt so much, fall so hard, cry your heart out, laugh out loud and reach out to others. Don’t hide yourself in your sheltered little world and just imagine of things to come or wish for the life you want instead try to mold yourself to what you want your life to be. I’ve just realized how much of life I’ve taken for granted but then someone came and let you see its not too late to enjoy your moment, to be able to live again without conditions, without regret, without restrictions and be like the bird in the sky so carefree. The only way you could ever show your appreciation is just by saying thank you for the things that open my eyes to a new perspective. Yes I am a dreamer but sometimes dreamer’s don’t just dream they live too for the moment…

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Sometimes in life we walk a different path, go our own separate ways and find our own lives. It will not be forever that people will do the same thing over and over again cause by then things will tend to stagnate. But the funny thing about life is when people do drift apart or part ways they don’t always find the way to go back to what it is used to be maybe because time has pass and your not anymore comfortable with what is left behind. But sometimes in life too when you do go back and reminisce what you did left behind you realize it was worth going back in the first place cause it was the one thing that made you who your are, who were there when you felt the world has turn its back on you, who push you up everytime you stumble and fall. Yes it is good to grow up and find our niche in this world cause sooner or later we will need to find that path where our life should circumnavigate but then again memories too are worth savoring every part of your journey to self discovery and contentment for without it we are an empty shell going about our life with no substance at all. Our past do help shape what we will become someday so never do erase what is left behind in your life but mold it well to suit what you will become someday.

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I know you’re not my ever after
I feel it here in my heart
and know it deep down inside
But what I feel for you is true
it surpass time and distance

My love for you is
so strong awaiting to be let go
I can’t hold it any longer
seems everyday that pass
Im growing deeper and deeper
into you and be with you

Life has no certainties
Love only belongs
today for me to feel
to savor and taste
to feel the magic
of my waking days
when thoughts fill
my mind of you
here with me to stay

I don’t wish for ever after with you
nor wish it to be forever
cause our life has no ending
our love no beginning
It is our now that matters
Not the yesterday or the tommorrow

I know you’re not my ever after
I feel it here in my heart
and know it deep down inside
But what I feel for you is true
it surpass time and distance

Our love belongs to us now
not the ever after or the forever
cause there is no sweeter gift
than the gift of the moment

I know you’re not my ever after
I feel it here in my heart
and know it deep down inside
But what I feel for you is true
it surpass time and distance

PS…ala lingaw just trying to write my 1st song lyrics…hmmm its still in progress but hope you like it 🙂

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Here lies my thoughts, feelings, ideas, life, love and dreams in a nutshell.  This is my very first blog entry, the first time I discover this blogsite and hopefully you get to see many more of my works and ideas.  Everyday is a journey into the greatest mystery of the universe of unravelling slowly the things that we find most enjoyable in our lives and facing the things we don’t like much with courage and hope and faith that everytime we fall there is an up to look forward too.  My life not always the typically peachy sunny side up kind of thing but it has spices, salt and sugar as well to make it more tasty.  Yeah I’m bit far off from this world I guess cause its because I’m bit at my artsy mood and besides I love to eat.  What was it forest gump use to say “Life is like a box of chocolates you’ll never know what will come out”…anyway enjoy reading my blog and if you like it well you can always link me to your blogs or vice versa